Episode 19: Psychic Transformation: Harnessing the Power of Authenticity for Spiritual Development and Intuitive Eating

Welcome to another episode of Aphantasia Experiments, where we delve into the interconnectedness of spiritual development and personal growth. In today's episode titled " Psychic Transformation: Harnessing the Power of Authenticity for Spiritual Development and Intuitive Eating," our host takes you on a walk with her dog, sharing her thoughts and experiences on authenticity, spiritual weight gain and loss, and the concept of intuitive eating.

In this captivating episode, our host explores the power of finding and using our authentic voice as she reflects on her journey of self-discovery through practices like talk therapy and podcasting. She opens up about her struggles with speaking her truth, influenced by societal expectations and family dynamics. Join her as she shares her breakthroughs in unlocking her true self, sparked by profound spiritual experiences and dreams from her childhood.

Throughout the episode, our host reveals her sincere desire to explore the correlation between ADHD, psychic development, and Aphantasia, particularly in adult females. While she acknowledges the need for talking points for a future episode, she invites listeners to share their input on this fascinating topic.

With refreshing authenticity, our host discusses her own insecurities and worries of being perceived as "crazy" while recording her podcast in public. She encourages listeners to embrace their growth journey at their own pace, starting with small steps such as recording voice notes to express their inner thoughts and then gradually sharing with trusted friends or loved ones. It's a heartwarming reminder that each individual's path to self-expression is unique and should be nurtured with patience and self-compassion.

Transcript:
Speaker A [00:00:00]: Hello and welcome to another episode of Aphantasia Experiments, as well as a psychic school podcast today. Okay, first of all, I'm going to just pre warn you that I am walking my dog. I found that walking, I'm able to kind of access stuff a bit better, and I feel like a lot of people are like that. My friend, I was telling her my experience when I was walking, and she was like, maybe I'll start podcasting again and I'll doodle while I do it. Kind of like how Tyler henry Doodles. And I was like, that's a great idea, and I might try that as well. But for now, with my kids home and everything, walking and podcasting is where it's at. So I start walking and then I'm like, I have 500 ideas for a podcast, but right now I'm going to try to talk about one that I can do while I'm walking. Speaker A [00:00:54]: I really want to do an episode on ADHD and psychic development and Aphantasia and the correlation between all of it and if there is a correlation, but I've had ideas and thoughts about it, so I want to do a whole episode on that. But I feel like that is something that I need talking points because I want to go through how it presents for adult females and stuff because it's totally different than a kid who gets diagnosed with ADHD and it's important to kind of recognize those things. And I'm terrible at recalling stuff, so I feel like I need something in front of me. So another episode for another day. And if you have any input on that and want to share it with me, please feel free to do so. Okay, so today I'm going to talk about I'm sorry if I sound winded, being authentic, and also about spiritual weight gain and loss and intuitive eating. First. Talking about being authentic, I keep saying, like, I need to speak my truth. Speaker A [00:02:21]: One of my big thing was I worked so much on my throat chakra this past year, like, an insane amount, and the majority of it has been like, I got a therapist and I do talk therapy, but I also do these podcasts and talk to my girlfriends and listen to what they have to say. But using my voice has really helped me develop my voice because it's helped me figure out who I truly am, what I truly want to say, and it helps me process my thoughts more because I feel you can have so many thoughts, but you can only really make them real when you say them out loud. So I've been working really hard at that. One of my biggest obstacles. I have an example of being inauthentic in this current moment right now, but I'll tell you in a second because it's really awkward. So I've been working on this. I went to a Reiki Master like a year ago, and she told me how bad my throat chakra was and it was right around when I got COVID. But I also knew at that time I wasn't speaking my truth. Speaker A [00:03:45]: Like, I was at a job that I didn't like. I was having these spiritual things happen to me and I wasn't talking to anyone about them except for a couple of really close friends, but not really fully talking. And then with my husband, I literally didn't say anything to him. He was like 1 second. This is what happens when you're podcasting and on a walk. You have to clean up poop. It happens. So it took me a while. Speaker A [00:04:24]: It started with I really can't focus and do two things at once. So you're just going to have to listen to the beautiful cars that are going by and the sound of my pooh bags shuffling. Okay, so I have these feelings, these thoughts, these epiphanies happening in my mind and I'm not sharing them with anyone. And I think a lot of it is because I think I was brought up to think that any outside of the box thinking was kind of not. My family is very creative, so it sounds like I'm in this family of strict people who don't let you be creative. That's not it at all. It was that my sister is a very hard atheist. Like no room for movement on that thought process. Speaker A [00:05:24]: And that's all fine and well, but it made me feel very uncomfortable talking about the things that were happening to me and the things that I was feeling and the dreams I was having as a kid. And I don't even remember actually as a kid, my sister being closed off to it, but I remember doing Ouija or Spirit in the Glass with my friend and I was like, oh, other people are into this stuff. Other people. It's not me being crazy, like thinking that we have this connection to something that's not here. Do you know what I mean? Maybe you don't know what I mean. But anyways, it took me until I'm 39 years old to finally get the voice to start talking about it. But it's been such a slow progress, like progress. And the reason I was saying two minutes ago that I was experiencing a moment of authentic. Speaker A [00:06:23]: Authentic, like walking weight next to a woman walking her dog. And instead of continuously talking, I lower my voice and I think for me that's like being respectful. But I'm worried that someone's going to hear what I'm saying and they're going to be like, that girl's crazy. But I don't know, I know it's not crazy. All I am doing is talking about being authentic versus not being authentic. And I'm worried about someone thinking I'm crazy. They think I'm just talking to myself. Literally everyone around you go for a walk, everyone's talking to themselves because everyone's got wireless headphones. Speaker A [00:07:06]: I have no idea if someone's talking to themselves or if they're talking to someone else and why do I give a crap? I shouldn't, right? But baby steps, you can't expect to be like fully perfect right away. It takes like, okay, you get comfortable doing one thing and then you get comfortable doing the next, and then you get comfortable with doing the next and then you grow from there, right? Maybe one day I'll be yelling these things at a group of thousands, but right now I feel good about putting on a podcast and not doing any advertising. This podcast feels like something I was pushed to do by my guides or angels or whoever, whatever source, something pushed me to do it, I can't not do it. And I feel like this is kind of the perfect platform for me because, I don't know, my sister could listen to it if she wanted to, but I'm not shoving it in her face, you know, so where am I going with this? My point is, you might feel like you have something new brewing inside of you or you've had something inside of you your whole life and you never know how to talk about it. You don't have to go right away and be like, this is the new me, I'm clairvoyant, I'm whatever, I talk to dead people, whatever it is. But you can start by recording a voice note to yourself to talk about it. See how that feels, how does it feel coming out of your mouth? And then reach out to the person you're closest to, like your best friend, if you have a best friend. If you don't, send me an email and we can chat. Speaker A [00:09:08]: But send a voice note to someone you're comfortable with and then go from there. Just keep building on that. And then eventually you're going to get to the point where you can shout it from the rooftops, how you feel, and if you want to express yourself that way and maybe you don't. I don't know if I want to be like podcast famous. I really just want to reach people that need to hear what I have to say. I feel like there can't be that many people out there. I mean, I think there has to be, but that many people out there who have aphantasia, who are also developing their psychic stuff, who are feeling this collective consciousness. I feel like my market is kind of niche, but maybe it's not. Speaker A [00:09:54]: Maybe it's going to grow and be really being but it's never been my goal. My goal is just to speak my truth somewhere on a platform and I guess reach whoever it needs to reach. So I wanted to just share that because I feel like I have this podcast. I'm like speaking freely about things, but it's not easy. I am finally at a point, and this is years, not years, like a year of me really working on my throat, chakra, telling, like, hard work I do, like meditations. I'm doing like humming exercises, all this different stuff to work on my throat chakra and all my chakras. But the best thing for me has been talking out loud to my friends. Especially because you get like especially if you have different friends too. Speaker A [00:10:50]: It's nice to have friends that aren't all the same as you. One of my really good friends. Her brain is a lot more similar to my husband's. She's the one who plans trips and stuff. And I'm like, anyways, I was talking about my husband one day, and she was able to give me and not like trashing him or anything. I was like, I forget what we were talking about. But she was able to give me a completely different perspective on it and it helped see different sides. And I don't know, I think talking is important. Speaker A [00:11:34]: I think that sometimes we hold things in because we're like, oh, it's gossip or whatever. But talking is like part of processing. And the more you hold on to that stuff, the more it just stacks up and you don't know what to do with it, and you don't even know whose thought is whose and whatever. You got to release it somehow. And talking is a really good form to do that, I think. I'm sure there's other forms right now. I'm like, this is what I'm talking about. So we're talking about it. Speaker A [00:12:05]: Car went by. Isn't this a magical, mystical experience, listening to all the sounds of nature as I walk by? It's pretty great. Yesterday I went to a meditation class at my gym of body, and they have this beautiful meditation room that opens up. It's on the second floor, but it opens up and you see the parking lot, but it has this beautiful folded window kind of thing that opens up so you can have it like full, beautiful air, like fresh air. But yesterday during class, she explained that there's sometimes noises that go on and it can distract you, but to use those noises in your meditation practice, like focus on the noise. And that was really helpful for me. She said it to me in class before, but yesterday it really helped. Yesterday they had during this 40 minutes class, it started torrential downpour. Speaker A [00:13:02]: So the sound of rain so meditative and cool and then the sound of the train going by is also very cool. It's like up to six minutes of the same sound. So if you're somewhere and you're like, oh, there's too much noise around me to meditate, focus on the noise. She also said, like, whenever a different noise comes up, or if there's multiple noises, label each noise. And the process of labeling each noise helps you hear more noises and it expands your focus and really cool. So I was practicing that yesterday when I got home. We were watching the rain and I was listening to the birds and then my kids yelling in the background. And then my neighbor had kids over like her kids had kids over, and I was hearing just every sound and it was really cool. Speaker A [00:13:56]: I just mentioned that randomly because I am someone who complains about sound all the time, and that was an exercise that could actually help with my sound issues. Sounds really good to me. Okay, so being authentic, start somewhere, start talking somewhere, and then eventually you get to the point where you have no problem telling your husband that you see dead people in your dreams. Because trust me, I would never have thought that I would be able to talk to my husband openly like that and not because he's a bad guy, just because I've put that barrier up that if you're going to talk about these things, people are going to think you're crazy. Which is insane because I don't think people are crazy. I respect people who talk freely about this stuff so much, so much. So I should be talking freely about it. Anyways, I have developed. Speaker A [00:14:59]: I'm growing and getting better. So I'm open with my husband now. I want him to be more comfortable with it and then eventually I will open it up more to the public and share it on my personal Facebook page. Right now, I'm just like, nope, nobody knows. Nobody has a clue. The most people know is that, god, my dog's really pooping today that I have aphantasia because I wrote the question on a Facebook board once. But other than that, I haven't said anything. So one day I'll get my comfort level up. Speaker A [00:15:41]: But I think this shit happens the way it's supposed to happen. I don't think I'm supposed to be putting this out to the masses yet. I mean, it is already out to the masses, but I think timing is a huge thing. And if you're feeling pushed to do something in a moment, you got to do it in that moment. And if you're feeling like, wait, then wait. We have to listen to that side of ourselves. Okay? So that was just a bit about being authentic. It's hard and I'm struggling with it, but I'm getting better and it's been a progress. Speaker A [00:16:25]: So don't be too hard on yourself if you are also struggling with this, okay? The other thing I wanted to talk about was intuitive eating or like the spiritual weight gain and weight loss. So last year I lost like 30 pounds in like, I don't know, a month really quickly. Really felt really random. I stopped. Like, my desire to drink coffee went completely away. And then I had dabbled with fasting and stuff in the past, like intermittent fasting. But I wasn't trying to lose weight. I just all of a sudden I had no desire to eat. Speaker A [00:17:10]: It was gone. And the most the doctor could come up with after a lot of tests, like blood tests and whatnot, was that I was depressed and looking back on the situation. I feel like I was depressed in a lot of way, but, like, situationally depressed, you know, depressed that my job was extremely unsatisfying. Depressed that I couldn't talk openly with some people that I loved. Depressed that I felt like part of a family that didn't even know who I truly am. Depressed there's a lot of things that I was situationally depressed about. But me at a core, am I depressed? If I think about it, I don't think I'm depressed, but I do think that my soul was like, robin, get your shit together. Listen to me. Speaker A [00:18:05]: Stop doing things for other people. Raise your voice. Be yourself. And so I went on antidepressant for, like, I don't know, a month maybe. And I was like, no, this is not all it was really doing was making me feel more tired and hungry. And so yay, I would gain ten pounds. But I didn't feel really any happier. It didn't change the fact that my job sucked. Speaker A [00:18:32]: It didn't change the fact that I couldn't talk openly. Sorry. See, now I'm inauthentic because I'm walking by people. So I'm going to just be quiet for a second and tell you about the flowers I'm seeing. There's a lot of dandelions. I'm right next to a school. I am carrying three bags of poop. Yes, there's the picture painted for you. Speaker A [00:18:58]: You are welcome. Anyway, back to so I lost all this weight, and then I feel like it was all connected. Like I started this major spiritual journey. And I really think now, looking back at the time, I was like, do I have lupus? Do I have this? Do I have this? I had all these pains too. Like, my back would always hurt, my chest would hurt, everything would hurt, and I didn't know where it was coming from. But looking back now, I'm like, I think that that was part of me shedding my old self and that I had to lose that weight and shed that former part of me to open up to this new one. Since losing the weight, I gained ten back. And then at one point, I had gained 20 back. Speaker A [00:20:03]: And I was, like, going into the fridge, and in my head, I got, you'll need this every time I open the fridge. Because I'd be like, Do I need to eat right now? So I'm someone who fasts often. I know my insulin and blood sugar get really affected by just randomly eating all the time. So I'm fairly try not to just eat snacks. But I was opening, I would go to the fridge, be pulled, and it was like, you need this. You need this. I gained about 15 pounds, and I was like, what is going on? I just kept hearing, I need this. And I was like, you know what? I bet I need this. Speaker A [00:20:47]: Something's going to happen. And soon after, I got pneumonia. And I was like, so sick I couldn't eat and I lost it all. I went right back down 15 pounds in like three days. So if your body is telling you you need something, listen. And then after Throat Experience, my intuition opened up a ton again. And then throughout the summer I've had various times where I spend a lot of time meditating and stuff and then I get extremely hungry after. And I find that whenever I'm having an extremely intuitive experience where I'm getting these downloads, I need to drink a lot or eat a lot after. Speaker A [00:21:32]: But this food, that the weight that I put on and then shed off. It feels like this process of me each time doing these quick little rebirths, which might sound a little cuckoo, but it's something like I've thought a lot about it, and it makes sense to me because every time, like, I lose weight gain, weight, loss weight gain weight, I look in the mirror and I feel like I'm slightly different. I've developed slightly more and I feel like my intuition is opening up each time more and more. So I feel like there has to be some sort of connection there. So if you've lost weight randomly and you're like, what the fuck is this? But you also feel like, hey, you're having more intense dreams, or you feel like nature is talking to you, or you wake up at 03:00 in the morning and you feel like the moon is loud, all those things, I feel like it's all part of some sort of awakening. And don't ignore it and kind of ride the flow of your pants fitting and being too loose. It's like just a process that I don't know if everyone goes through, but it's definitely something. And being more I'm so intuitive with my food now. Speaker A [00:22:50]: Got a stomach ache the other day and I was like immediately was like, It's the rice. And my friend was texting me and in my head immediately I knew that she had to take some mineral powder. I don't know if she ended up doing it, but in my head it was like boom. So I feel like that's something I have that I don't really need to develop more. But the ability to tell people to take a certain thing based on just them talking, I don't know, I feel like it's becoming a thing for me. Like understanding my body's needs on a more intuitive level. Anyways, I am done my walk. Now I have three bags of poop and I'm ready to put it down. Speaker A [00:23:34]: So I'm going to stop this. I hope this resonated with someone. If not, it's okay. You probably stopped this episode a while ago if it didn't, but if it did, send me an email, rofocreative@gmail.com R O Focreative@gmail.com and feel free to leave me a rating or review. Throat helps. I've never asked for that, but if you could do it, I'd love it. Thanks. Bye.