Episode 12: Personal Experience with Visualization Experiment for Aphantasia

Hello fellow aphantastic people! In this episode I share the experience that made me want to start this podcast. This episode shares my experience talking out loud about what I see when my eyes are closed. I believe the whole process is called image streaming, or atleast it's a variation of image streaming.It is a magical and transformational experience that I encourage every person with aphantasia to try. When we speak out loud, something connects in our brain, I don't know what, but I am telling you, it happens! Trust me! Take a listen to hear my entire experience.

Transcript:
Speaker A [00:00:01]: Hello and welcome to another episode of the Psychic School podcast as well as Aphantasia experiments. I'm kind of just combining the both right now because I feel like a lot of the topics kind of go back and forth, and I feel like I've kind of landed on this weird niche of learning about consciousness exploration and developing my psychic skills, practicing remote viewing and other kind of mystical, spiritual, metaphysical things. But also I have aphantasia, and I feel like there are people out there that probably are similar to me that have this deep intuition and they don't really understand how to use it and how to grow it because a lot of the information out there is like very visual based meditations and stuff. So I feel like I've kind of landed on this niche and I'm going to talk about it here, and I'm going to talk about it on my Psychic School podcast, like the psychic one and Aphantasia one. They're going to be kind of combined if I only talk about psychic stuff and I don't mention like, I'm sorry or vice versa if I have a whole episode on aphantasia. But I feel like if you're a psychic trying to develop your psychic skills and you don't have aphantasia, which like a majority of people probably don't, it would be good to understand how someone with Aphantasia processes things in case you want to teach them or guide them or whatever in the future. So there's a benefit to that too. So I wanted to share with you the last few weeks of my life because I feel like there's been so many profound moments, and sometimes when you're going through hard moments in your life, it's hard to see the good that's going to come next. Speaker A [00:01:58]: But there's always good, and it's important to actually work through stuff. So a little backstory. I've been really unhappy at my career for the last few years. I was just an energetic mismatch with just someone I worked with. And it was something that I tried to get out of several times. And there was this pole that kept keeping me. And it's been so draining to me that every time I would go into work and see this person, I would feel like part of me was kind of dying. Like I felt this energetic oozing of my soul almost. Speaker A [00:02:45]: It's been a pretty hard couple of years because I've gone through bouts of depression and I will get sick. I've had this respiratory issue for a whole year now. I had COVID, and then since then it's like every month I get almost pneumonia symptoms. And I've had pneumonia twice, been treated for pneumonia twice. I'm sure I've had walking pneumonia before and not been treated for it. But I swear, every time she's in the office, it's this drain. It's like if I'm around this person too much, my energy gets to zero. And then I have to take a couple of days off because I can't get out of bed. Speaker A [00:03:28]: And I know that just sounds like clinical depression or whatever, but I'm telling you, it was an energetic vampire situation. That was what was happening. A couple of weeks ago, I got really sick. I was down with pneumonia. I end up in the hospital, was told to stay on bed rest. So I told this person in the morning, I said, I can't do any work. I am not even answering calls. And then I got four emails. Speaker A [00:03:59]: Not four emails, like 40 emails, ten calls, four texts, you name it. It just kept coming in. And I turned my phone off and turn it on every few hours. And I see all this, and I'm like, so I just didn't respond to any of it, not at all. And this had happened. So Thursday night, I went down sick. Friday I was off sick. And then by Monday, I had felt a lot better because I was on antibiotics, and I had taken the time. Speaker A [00:04:28]: And I went into work with this knowingness that I had to quit because of the disrespect and disrespect for my own personal space and boundaries. And that energetic. I have other clients who, when I told them I was not well, and they said, Take more time. Don't rush it. You can take as much time as you need. Get better. And that's how we all deserve to be treated. Nothing is that big of an emergency that should matter more than someone's health and well being. Speaker A [00:05:07]: And when you treat people like that consistently, it's not an energy that anyone should be around. So Monday, I thought about it on my walk. I told my husband. I was like, I have this feeling I have to do this. And then I went to work, and the person that I wanted to talk to wasn't there and wasn't well. And then I just did it anyways. I texted her, and then we had a conversation, and it ended as good as well as it possibly could have. We're on good terms, but I was able to cut ties as much as possible, energetically, from this person. Speaker A [00:05:56]: And I'm still working on it because we have so many energetic ties. It's insane. Like, I had a dream about her last night. I need to cut that. But the workload that I had at my job was too much. I'm doing marketing and sales, but I was really running the company, doing all the billing, all the invoicing, all the shipping, whatever, everything, all the Amazon reports. It wasn't one person's job. It was ten. Speaker A [00:06:24]: And I had all this random knowledge in my head that I didn't want anymore. Like, I'd need to brain dump it all. And so after I quit and I fully just threw out my business cards, I'm like, I don't need these. I don't even need to say that this was my job. I do not want this again in my future. I need this. Cleanse it out. A few days later, we had planned to go on a trip with my family. Speaker A [00:06:52]: We went to Cuba for a week. And so I had dumped my work stress before leaving. Not that everyone can do this. Quit your job and then go on vacation. I know that's not like, standard, but that's exactly what happened. And so when I was on vacation, I was able to actually enter the zone of vacation mind where you're not actually thinking about all the to do lists you have to do when you get back from vacation because you haven't answered emails for a week. And those emails just keep coming because that's how all of my vacations have been in the past. I am able to have a good time, but I still think about those things at night, right? Even still, every vacation I have where I'm by the ocean or near water, I have intense dreams. Speaker A [00:07:44]: Like very intense often, like prophetic dreams or like astral travel dreams. And this last vacation was absolutely insane for what happened to me during my dream. And I want to share that experience with you. So one of the nights at the resort we went to, the Abero Star Selection in Holgene, Cuba. It was lovely. The food was okay. I mean, not cruise quality. It was pretty good though. Speaker A [00:08:18]: I mean, you hear horror stories about Cuba and I was not put off. There was always enough rice and pasta and omelets and whatnot. So we were well fed. Not that you asked, but people ask. Anyway, so we go to this resort and one of the nights we are at a Japanese hibachi restaurant. So they do this whole show where they flip the rice and whatnot. And my daughter, who's five, is sitting next to a girl named Jade. And she is sitting there, they're both five. Speaker A [00:08:54]: She's sitting there with this little trinket box. And she's going in her trinket box, she's got like stickers and stuff, and she has these little purple gems. They're just like plastic, just like stickers almost. And she keeps giving them to my daughter. And I'm just thinking in my head, this girl, this is like her treasure chest. And she's giving away her treasure to my kit. And they're both five. They're just being so sweet together. Speaker A [00:09:17]: My daughter, my five year old, is like the bringer of joy. She's a light worker. A thousand times she came to this earth to spread joy, and she did it all vacation. But this other girl is just a similar energy. They had this just loving ball of energy between them. And I saw this interaction and I immediately knew that I needed to give her something. So I went in my purse and I shuffled around. I thought that I had some amethyst crystals from a bracelet that broke, but I couldn't find them. Speaker A [00:09:49]: I guess I had taken them out, but I had a larger white quartz, clear quartz. Sorry. And I just carry crystals around. Sometimes if I'm doing something that I'm not feeling completely grounded, I'll just hold in my hand. And so I gave this crystal to her, and I gave her a whole speech. I don't remember what I said. It came intuitively, but something about the crystal protecting her and something and I gave her the crystal, and we had a great rest of the dinner. The girls had fun together. Speaker A [00:10:21]: And then I went to bed that night and I had a dream about her, this girl. And what happened in the dream was I gave her the crystal again. We had the whole situation play out again, but it was like a different view of it. So I give her the crystal, and I was able to feel how that felt on her end. Okay, but this is where it gets even crazier. Then I got to experience every experience that she had going forward that was related to that experience, like the effect it had. So I saw her walk back to the hotel, drop it on the floor, and then she was upset. But then she gave half to her brother, and it was like this loving moment. Speaker A [00:11:05]: And then I got to experience her brother having loving moments because of that moment. And then I still got to experience other moments that she had with other people and then the experience that they had with other people. It was like this spiderverse, I don't know, like this multi universe experience happening all at once in my dream. And then when I woke up and I was like two lessons there. I feel like that's what a life review is like. Because I was only asleep for a couple of hours, I woke up at 03:00 A.m., and I lived a lifetime of experiences from that one moment, the ripple effect that it played throughout her life and all the other lives that were affected because of that one act of kindness. So I thought that was probably what a life review is like. Incredible if you do good things. Speaker A [00:11:56]: And the other lesson was that the little things that we do in life are the absolute most important things. If you can be kind to the cashier who cashes, you know, the Tim Hortons worker, whoever it is, and brighten their day in some capacity, that person brightens the next person's day in line, and that person goes home to their family and is nicer to their like. There's a ripple effect to everything that we do. Not always, but most of the time, if you can be kind and bring joy to someone else's life in any capacity, I think you should do it, and we should all do it. And it doesn't take much. It really doesn't. And I'm not saying this one moment was the best thing ever. It was just something I do constantly. Speaker A [00:12:49]: I'm a very generous person. And again, I'm not trying to toot my own horn, but it's something that comes naturally to me because it feels so good to do good and give and see other people's reactions. And I'm not like buying someone a convertible, but I'll buy someone a beer or whatever. Little things I've always done that my whole life. Because I love watching someone open a present or watching that joy is the best feeling. It's way better than opening your own present anyway. So when you die or have these experience, if anyone ever has an experience like that in a dream, it's really profound because you really realize how important, how much moments can really have a ripple effect. I mean, especially the bad ones. Speaker A [00:13:44]: If you think about the bad moments, I think about my house and it's very chaotic. There's six people living under one roof. We all have different personalities. I have a son who's very challenging and very creative and very all over the place and very spiritual. We're very similar in a lot of ways. But he can energetically bring the entire house down, and so can I. If I'm having a bad day and I stub my toe and my daughters want my attention and I'm short with them, they're going to be short with each other. And then there's fighting around the house and energetically, we're all over the place because either I'm in a bad mood or my son's in a bad mood. Speaker A [00:14:28]: We have that energetic power to take over a house, and it sucks. I'm able to control it more because I'm an adult and I truly deal with my emotions and I meditate. And when I can feel myself getting into that zone, I usually take some time for myself. The thing that I do the most in case other people have this issue, too, the ability to energetically destroy or uplift a room, that's me. If I'm feeling like I'm taking the vibration down in a room, I'll take a shower and then I immediately feel better. Water is my therapy for sure. And like, being in the ocean or the lake or anything like that, it always fills me up and it changes my mood. So if I'm feeling really down or something, I'll take a shower or bath or a hot tub or whatever, or go swimming, and it makes me feel better. Speaker A [00:15:26]: Okay, so back to my Cuba trip. That was kind of a tangent there, but it kind of leads into the fact that we were in Cuba. I had drained my brain from all this work crap that was stored in there that I just needed to dump out. Like, when you have so much work stress, like, you have no capacity to bring in any other things. I feel like I'm fairly intuitive and I was getting so many signs saying, Get out. This job has served its purpose. Like, you owe it nothing. Get out. Speaker A [00:15:59]: So you can free your brain. So I finally did that, and I feel like being in Cuba with this drained brain and being able to get into the ocean or the water every day, it completely filled me up, and it made my dreams so much more profound and memorable. The week leading up to going on the trip, I was having dreams, actually, probably the month before. I just don't remember much of it. It's like I'm in a classroom or, like, a meeting. We're in a circle, and we're being taught these lessons, and when I wake up, I don't remember the lessons. But then I started this podcast, and I'm really just talking and giving lessons, so maybe I'm relaying those messages through here. But when I was in Cuba, the two main dreams I had were very clear lessons. Speaker A [00:16:55]: The second dream was, okay, I was on a tangent there, and I completely forget what it was about. Okay, I'm going to go back to the water because I wasn't fully done with that thought. You might connect to a certain sign more than other, like, element, more than others. I think I've talked about this in another podcast, but for me, I connect with water the most. I'm a very creative person. I like going with flow of things. I like the fluidity of life. Like, I like getting into a flow, and being in water just makes me feel alive. Speaker A [00:17:49]: In Cuba, I was doing, like, snorkeling, and I was going with the flow of the water, and I was just, like, on the surface of the water, and I was seeing these crystal lights come into the water and these fish, and it felt like I felt like I was a little mermaid, I swear. And I felt so weightless and just alive and wonderful. And then I did this for, like, 20 minutes, and I was just, like, in awe and feeling just high as a kite on life. And then I stood up and walked back to the land, and I've never wanted to barf so bad in my life. I sat there with the towel over my head, and I know it was because the water was wavy and whatever, but I felt great during it. It was as soon as I got back to the land, I felt awful. And I know it's about your ears or whatever, but it happened to me on the cruise, too. I didn't feel it all when we were on the water. Speaker A [00:18:48]: As soon as we got off the water, I felt like the whole world was spinning. So it makes me feel like maybe I'm supposed to be in the water. Anyways, I think being in the water, having my cup filled every day with this water energy, made me extremely intuitive and made my dreams incredibly powerful. I did the astral travel with the girl, and I lived her entire life, basically. And then the next dream I had, the next night was I couldn't remember the actual dream, but I remember the lesson that was from the dream. It was like I replayed these situations over and over again, and what my guys were explaining to me, it was like they were taking me around like scrooge in Christmas carol, like, taking me to these situations like the same thing that is happening over and over and over again. And my guides were telling me that if you have the same problem that keeps coming up, especially in the negative problems, sometimes we have positive problems in our life. Too much money. Speaker A [00:19:57]: If you're having negative problems come up, you need to adapt and change the way you approach them. And sometimes you're going to approach them in a negative way, and that's okay. You have to reset the next day and try to approach it through your heart. And we're allowed to have bad days. We're allowed to make mistakes. We're allowed to get mad. But the purpose is to finally get to the point where you make a heart led decision and change the situation through a heart led decision. I hope that makes sense. Speaker A [00:20:32]: But what they were trying to tell me is that we need to experience every day like an experiment. So if you have a situation, maybe with your kid, they're doing the same annoying thing every day, or whatever, and today you decide, I'm taking away the iPad. Tomorrow you decide, I'm taking away this. The third day you decide, I'm waking up and snuggling them for half an hour before breakfast. The fourth day, you decide. Every day you approach it as an experiment, and finally you're going to land on something that works, but don't approach things the same way every day. That's what life is. Life is about learning and changing and adapting to make life work for you. Speaker A [00:21:14]: The problems we have in life are solvable, but we do have to try different methods to get to the solution. You can't just keep doing the same thing over and over again and think things are going to change. And this is me talking to you, but also talking to myself, because there's so many things in the last year that I've been dealing with that I have approached the same way. And it was only through this dream that I was like, okay, no, every day I'm going to try something different, and we'll see what works and what doesn't and go from there. But those were the two big lessons I got from my trip. And I've really felt since coming back, that I feel a lot more connected to the Earth and the world. I definitely look at life here in Mean. I think about how privileged we know. Speaker A [00:22:07]: When we landed back in Canada from Cuba, I was just thinking Mean. We went and saw a family in Cuba, and they gave us crops, like food from their farm, some mango and sugarcane and oh, my gosh dragon fruit, I think it was. And they were just so welcoming. And they showed us around their little hut thing and showed us their kitchen outside and how they had their own chickens and rabbit that they would slaughter themselves. And it's so funny, I have this split way of looking at it. I look at them and I think they're so lucky that they can live in nature and do one thing and not one thing. Not that they're doing one thing. It seems like such a harder life, but a simplified life. Speaker A [00:23:09]: You know what you have to do to survive and that's what you do. And then you come here and it's like we're always fighting for the next thing. It's always never good enough. It's never good enough. It doesn't matter. We're trying to climb that ladder, answer those emails. We have way less connection with actual people and our environment. But then we have like air conditioning and amazing food. Speaker A [00:23:32]: And I can buy a drink at the liquor store that has zero sugar but 8% alcohol and tastes like cotton candy. We are so lucky. But I envy not answering 100 emails a day. I envy that life. But I feel like there has to be. It's like the pendulum swings so far both ways. And I feel like if we could all meet more in the middle, the whole world could be so much more kept. The thing that got me when I was in Cuba sorry, when I came home from Cuba, when we arrived in Cuba, it was raining and just a little bit. Speaker A [00:24:17]: And the guy on our tour bus that drove us to the hotel was saying that they really need rain there because it's the end of mango season. It's going to be avocado, and the avocados need the rain. It's going to be avocado season soon. And they have gotten like no rain. So they are really excited to have gotten rain that day. And then, so the whole trip I'm thinking, oh, I hope it rains. I know it's my vacation, but I really want it to rain. For them, that is really important that their crops get the water. Speaker A [00:24:47]: Screw my vacation. I want rain. And if it rains, we get to sit inside and play card games. That's fun too, right? So it didn't rain the entire trip. And the day we were leaving on the bus, it started pouring rain. But it was like a fleeting second. And then when I got back here, it's been pouring rain. And I just keep thinking, send it to Cuba, send it to Cuba, send it to Cuba. Speaker A [00:25:12]: So maybe that'll work. Maybe if we all say, send it to Cuba, or send it to the wildfire, send it somewhere instead of saying Rain, rain, go away. Come back another day. Say Rain, rain, go to Cuba or to BC and put out those fires, please. But make it more catchy so you can sing it in your head and repeat it, because the power of prayer and the power of song can go a long way. I think that's my episode for today. That was a bunch of rambling, but there were some lessons in there that I hope you understood and and yeah, I hope that you can find some time to get in water or sit by a fire. If fire. Speaker A [00:25:58]: Is something you connect to or just go for a walk in nature and really try to connect to the earth. And then hopefully you can maybe connect more in your dreams and experience connecting to source in a way. And yeah, I really didn't talk much about aphantasia here. What should I throw in? Oh. I don't know if you listened to one of my former podcasts, but I talked about this experiment I did where I stared at a flame for a long time and then I stared at the black wall in front of me and I ended up sorry. I stared in front of me and there's a black wall on the side and this red balloon appeared. And then I went to look at it and I thought that it would move because I thought it was a flare in my eye from the flame, but it stayed there and I was able to see this clear red balloon. It was a red heart balloon and then it floated away. Speaker A [00:27:03]: Anyways, fun little story. As I got off the plane, the only song I heard playing. So again, more backstory. I see hearts everywhere I go, like hearts, puddles of hearts, leaves. They're shaped like hearts. Everything falls into a heart. It's like comical how many hearts I see. I can see at least six hearts here with me that aren't hearts. Speaker A [00:27:30]: Seven. They literally appear out of nowhere, these hearts. I'm telling you, it's a thing. Anyway, so I have this vision, like there's something with hearts. And I get off the plane and the first song I hear and it was like, we're not fresh off the plane. It's been like five minutes off the plane, this song starts playing of nowhere. It felt like there was no music. And then all of a sudden the song played. Speaker A [00:27:55]: And then after the song played, it was gone. No music that ever happened. Or you're listening, you're at the restaurant, and then all of a sudden, one song is way louder, and you're like, what is that? Pay attention. So the song that was playing was Heart of Gold by Neil Young, which Neil Young is a very big intuitive his songs always pop into my head and they usually mean something. But then as we were going through customs or security or something, my son was mom being really annoying. It's like the energy of the airport makes everyone cranky, right? Like I was just like oh, yes. What? And he's like, look. And he pointed and right as you were coming out of the doorway, there was this heart balloon just sitting there, like, floating midair in the corner. Speaker A [00:28:46]: And I was like, oh, okay. Thank you. And it was like it got me back into that moment of being like, okay, yes, the airport energy is awful. Everyone at the airport is angry for some reason. And as an empath, when you walk through an airport, you pick up on that shit, the people who are honking and whatever. It is hard for me to just dodge all that information coming at me. And so I get a little frazzled and so does my son. So he pointed out that balloon and it brought me back to the zone. Speaker A [00:29:22]: I wish I had more advice on airport strategies. I feel like that could be something in the future, because I feel like we need to protect ourselves at the airport. There's a lot of crazy energy out there. Okay, that's going to be the end of my podcast. I hope you enjoyed it. Yeah. Have a wonderful, amazing, loving, heart filled day and life.